Marriage Preparation

(Revised: June 2010)
Congratulations on your engagement! We feel privileged that you wish to promise lifelong love as husband and wife in the Lord. It is a union, which is modeled after and symbolizes God's ever-faithful love for His people. Because you have made such an important decision to sacramentalize your love in Christian marriage, we at St Augustine/St Joseph Cluster want to do all that we can to help you prepare yourselves for marriage. The following information is meant to provide an outline to assist you in preparation to celebrate the sacrament of marriage.

• Initial Contact
• Setting The Date
• Preparation
• Marriage Ceremony
• Time For Weddings
• Donation To The Church

Initial Contact

If you are thinking of celebrating the sacrament of marriage at St. Augustine, contact Deacon Hal Belcher at 419-305-5486 at least 6 months ahead of time. This much time is needed to provide an adequate preparation. The earlier preparations can begin, the easier it will be for everyone.

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Setting The Date

At the first meeting with Deacon Hal Belcher, a tentative date can be set for the wedding. The date is not official until all marriage preparations have been completed. Only then is the parish bound by the set date.

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Preparation

At St Augustine/Egypt Cluster the following will be required as part of the preparation for every marriage:

1. MYERS-BRIGGS will be administered. This inventory helps couples understand how each tends to experience life and to make decisions. This is completed at the initial meeting with the Priest or Deacon who completes the intake process.
2. FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and study). The FOCCUS instrument, which discloses areas of agreement and disagreement in such concerns as communication, financial issues, religion and values, etc., is completed at the couples first meeting with their FOCCUS couple
3. CONFERENCES WITH THE FOCUS FACILITATING COUPLE. During these two conferences or more, the facilitating couple will ask the engaged couple to discuss the results of FOCCUS.
4. CONFERENCES WITH THE PRIEST or DEACON. During these conferences the priest/deacon asks the couple to discuss the results of the Myers-Briggs, fills out a form for the Archdiocese which assesses the couples readiness for marriage, and helps the couple plan the liturgy for the wedding Mass. If the priest/deacon needs the advice of parents, then he will ask them to come in for a conference. If the couple could benefit from seeing a family counselor (such as in the case of pregnancy), then a referral will be made. Pregnancy is a reason for taking more time in the preparation.
5. BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE. A recently dated baptismal certificate (within six months of the marriage) must be obtained by both parties unless the baptism took place at St Augustine or St. Joseph's church.
6. CONFERENCE WITH THE DIRECTOR OF MUSIC. The Director of Music should be contacted 6 months prior to the date of your wedding and will help you plan the music for the wedding Mass. At this time, the Director will also help you in choosing your vocalist(s) and any other musicians that you may want. All musicians and all music have to be approved by the Director of Music. The Archdiocese has a number of restrictions that the Director of Music will explain to you at the first meeting.
7. ENGAGED ENCOUNTER, PRE-CANA OR NEW BEGINNINGS (for second marriages). The Archdiocese requires that couples attend some formal program as part of their preparation for marriage. Our cluster endorses and strongly recommends the Engaged Encounter sponsored by the Archdiocese's Family Life Office. We, do not recommend, but will accept, the Pre-Cana program. Our reasoning is that the Pre-Cana program tends to be informational and does not tend to be formational and does not emphasize communication skills. Good communication skills are often what makes the difference in a marriage's success. We believe so strongly in Engaged Encounter that the parish will pay part of the fee (at least $25) for the program if the couple needs assistance.
8. INTERFAITH MARRIAGE. When a Catholic chooses to marry someone from a different religious tradition, the couple is required to take special instructions about the Catholic faith. The intent of these instructions is not to convert the non-Catholic party, but merely to provide some appreciation of what the Catholic party believes. Special arrangements can be made to have a Protestant Minister take part in the ceremony. Permission for a wedding in a non-Catholic church may be granted only for a serious reason. Permission for a marriage in a non-Catholic church must be obtained before any arrangements are made. Moreover, the couple follows the standard procedures required of couples that are both Catholic. An interfaith marriage should be celebrated outside of Mass. Permission to celebrate the wedding ceremony within Mass must be requested of the Archbishop in writing.
9. MARRIAGE LICENSE. Bring this to the rectory at least twenty-four hours before the wedding, along with your donation to the Church. The check for the donation to the church should be made out as follows:
   If the marriage is to take place at St. Augustine in Minster, make the check payable to: St. Augustine Church.
   If the marriage is to take place at St. Joseph in Egypt, make it payable to St. Joseph Church.

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Marriage Ceremony

Within the confines of solid liturgical principles, we encourage you and your families to create a sacramental experience that is personal. You may designate servers, lectors, reader of the Prayer of the Faithful, and gift bearers for the offertory procession. Readers should be competent and practice beforehand, especially if they are not familiar with our public address system. You may design a printed program for the wedding Mass. You may say a special "prayer of the couple" during the ceremony. If the wedding does not take place during Mass you will not need servers or gift bearers for an offertory procession.

There are two local customs at St. Augustine and St. Joseph, which are sometimes followed. Some couples like to light a 'wedding candle' after pronouncing their vows. We encourage you to obtain your own (perhaps even make them). Some couples bring a flower to the Blessed Virgin Mary's shrine. This symbolizes the couple's dedication to the Holy Family as a role model of Christian living.

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Time For Weddings

Saturday afternoons at 1:30. The wedding party must be out of both churches by 3:45 PM on Saturday, because there is Mass at 5:00 PM. and Confessions start at 4:00 PM in Minster. 

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Donation To The Church

Couples are to make a donation to the Church to cover such expenses as use of the Church, books used in the preparation process, sacristan, and other miscellaneous services. The donation to the Church should be made even if arrangements are made for outside musicians and/or priest. The expenses of the Church remain the same. The donation should be given at the same time the marriage license is brought to the rectory. The current fees are applicable for 2010:

The Director of Music will go over donations/fees for the wedding music.

These guidelines for marriage preparation are given to you in hope that they will be of practical assistance in preparing for your marriage. Hopefully, they give an answer to most of the questions that ordinarily arise. If there are any other questions, do not hesitate to ask.

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